Hey The Bakery,
First can I ask?-- do you really bake? I like to bake and was just wondering.
as far as conversing-- I was wondering if you are in some kind of therapy? I've found a good therapist can help in directing how things go in conversing. At the beginning of a session the therapist I see will engage in some random conversing-- with practice, if you find a therapist like this, you may get better at it.
also, are you on any medication? sometimes meds can make thoughts scrambled and sometimes meds can help to unscramble..... just depends on the meds and the person.
I've lacked friends all my life too-- I know how that can feel for sure.
... still don't have any(IRL)-- except my husband. However, the few online friends I have are very great.
Sometimes others don't understand, as they take what seems simple to them for granted-- some things aren't so simple to others.
I think it's great that you are trying so hard
best to you
fins