There's no such think as minimalizing or "no big deal" or "not as bad as it could have been". You are talking about your life and everything that is important to you is real and. . . important :-) You're the one living your life and if it bothers you, you are the only one who gets the right to say how important it is to you! There is no comparison of lives; you're not as good/bad/have a better/worse experience than anyone else because there's no way to compare the two! We're each completely alone in our own experiences and yes, while something I do easily might be hard for you or something you do easily be hard for me, so? They're not the same experience because we're not the same person.

From reading your posts, were I you, I'd work to get away/separate from your mother; she seems to be the most volatile/confusing person in your environment/Life and not being of any help? I have seen nothing in what you report her saying/doing that would be helpful to me, but only help cause me the grief I hear you saying you're feeling!