((((((((((((Shoez)))))))))))))))))

Denial and minimizing is something we have to learn to work through, it's a defense mechanism one usually adopts to help soothe the pain or make all the bad memories go away, it's so much easier to say it never happend, or lie to ourselves than to deal with the reality and the pain

But it's worth working through, and learning, and healing

I too was abused by a family member, no stragner, it wasn't done in the bushes, but at family gatherings, at places that were suppose to be safe, most of the times, abuse happens not from strangers but from people in our own families, people we know and trust, that is why abuse hurts so much, it's a betrayl by those that are suppose to be safe.

Never blame yourself hun, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. Abuser's work to make us voiceless, quiet us, keep us from telling or fighting, it's a part of the abuse, it's another dimennsion of it, please don't blame yourself, although from my experince that is something one learns in time is to let go of the self blame

Please be gentle with yourself Shoez, your not blowing it out of porportion at all, it was real, it happend, and your taking a very brave step foreword to try and heal by talking to a T, don't let what your mom says keep you down or doubt yourself, you know the truth, and that is what is most importnat

Best wishes, and sending you peace and serenity
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