I want to help, but, I know the fustration that this all is. It's not fun. But I think part of it is fear, Fear that our life wont be what it once was. We both feel like we need it, and it does feel good, but at what cost. I think it is us that keeps us from healing. We both need to heal, but where not healing, we are both getting WORSE. I do know that we can do it, we just have to find another outlet, besides SI or Drinking. If you find it before I do, let me know. Stay safe, and I will try too.