Hugs to you Tatyana!

The forgiveness is the hard part... i can forgive I think (time will tell) but I cannot forget and that's where the struggle within begins for me.

For me I feel it's not too late.. to be honest the past 5 months have been a growing time for me.. time to realise what I do want from my life and also that I don't NEED anyone to make my life complete.
If I see him on Sunday and I feel nothing (which is what I am hoping for in some small way) then all good.
He will give me the answers - well some of them anyway as I have told him that's what I wish to meet for... to stop my mind wondering what the heck is going on... that's why I think he may chicken out on seeing me LOL

Counselling has been a large part of me finding myaelf and also finding self confidence keep pushing at going and I am sure it will get easier (even the train ride near your old house.)