Hey NuckingFutz, I'll take any support I can get. Things with dad are up and down it's really confusing because I love, him heck I feel sorry for him, but sometimes he can be so cruel towards me and my mother. he called her a Bitc# in front of everyone at starbucks. My family is pretty spread out emotionally it's pretty much me and my mom. my sisters really aren't around you know. I think as far as me going out it was just to soon. I get really impatient and tired of whatever the heck i have. I was diagnosed with SAD but I have zero faith in the doc's here. I really think it's PSTD.