i think i was really angry that she knew about it more then anything.and talking about it was not an option.i didnt want to know her opinion about any of it i didnt want to think about it at all i hadnt thought about it and didnt want to i just dont think anything good can come out of it.things around what happened to me wre ok untill all the adults in my life started to react to what went on when my secret was out i have to say the baby sitter was right about that if i told all hell was going to break loose and it did and not in a good way.i was a ***** and a slut.i felt horrable.as a teen i didnt ever want to date any boys because i didnt want them to know i wasnt a vergin and be teased about it.my mother never talked to me about sex at all i didnt even know what my period was.i remember all the girls in school making a big deal about having the big movie in gym and when i asked about it i was teased like crazy.but i was the only kid i swear that had already had sex and didnt know what a period was.when i got my period i never told my mom but when she found out all she had to say to me was now i need to realy say no to guys but with no explination as to what i am saying no to. nothing good ever came out of speaking these words so why would i all i do is panic