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I don’t know where to post this. The community guidelines regarding sexually oriented posts has me a bit wary and so I am attempting to post this in the sexual addictions forum, despite it’s lack of fit. I’d ask any moderator to please move this wherever appropriate and forgive me if I have misplaced it.
I’m a 45-year-old man in good health that has never had what I would call a healthy sex drive. Every relationship I’ve ever had has been impacted adversely by my lack of interest in sex. At the risk of being too explicit, I would rather just masturbate, as sex itself seems a bit too much like work. I can get the job done quicker and better by myself than I can with a partner. I am in a relationship now with a woman whom I love beyond my capacity to describe. We have not yet consummated our relationship sexually however, though that day is coming. It is not unusual for me to desire sex at this point in the relationship and this time is no exception, but I fear that my desire will follow the pattern of dropping off soon after the first time.
I’m not sure what else is germane but here’s a few thoughts: I love physical affection in a relationship – holding hands, cuddling, kissing, yet when it leads to sex I am disappointed that the cuddling or kissing is over, not excited that we are moving on. That leads to avoiding physical affection. I am a talented lover and have no problem communicating to my partner what my own likes and dislikes are as well – however, communicating to them that I prefer masturbation to sex with them because it’s too much like work isn’t a good option so please don’t suggest it..:.J
I don’t know what information to give, please ask what you like – it is important to me that this relationship does not suffer as we move forward and I am willing to do anything to prevent jeopardizing it.
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