sannah i dont really know.i always had choices if i was willing to do something like oral sex or something like that i was treated special i got to stay up past my bedtime and watch tv if i didnt i had to go to bed and that was it he didnt really do anything.it was complicated i wanted him to like me .if i didnt do this stuff i felt he hated me.he really made me feel special and differnt .this was my thing.i think the only time he ever scared me was when we had sex but he told me it was going to hut and i didnt have to do it but that it was going to be cool and if i didnt i would have to go to bed just like my brother etc...please dont think im disgusting for this but..having sex with him may have hurt but i wasnt any worse then anything my mother had done.he was suportive in a way kind of caring .i can still hear the things that he would say in my ear never mind it hard to understand lots goes on in my head over that soo not ready.now as an adult it makes me feel ick and that makes me angry sometimes