Hi (((((((Granite))))))

I just want to chime in and say even if you DID know it was sex and even if you DID know it was wrong, it wouldn't make it your fault, and it wouldn't make you a slut or a ***** or any other bad thing.

When my first SA happened, I was very young - like ages 3 - 5. I obviously didn't know about sex or understand what was happening. It was a "game" and "our secret" and even when it got yucky and painful, I knew that for some reason I didn't understand, I COULD NOT TELL.

The second incident was when I was around 8. By then, I knew it was wrong, but I still didn't know how to make it not happen. I lived in an abusive household and had no idea how to say no or stand up for myself. I just went somewhere else in my head and let it happen.

I have beat myself up for YEARS about the stuff that happened when I was 8, because I "knew better". But - I was EIGHT. I didn't have the power to make it not happen, no matter what I thought I "knew".

SO, my point is, no matter how it felt, no matter what you knew, it wasn't your fault and you are not any of the mean words you called yourself. You CAN'T be.

Lots of safe to you.