Well, V-Love, you and the baby have my best wishes and hopes. I am trying to end a long-standing affair with a married man (he wasn't married when we started) and understand the trials and pain. There was actually a time when a pregnancy seemed to be a welcome force--a thing that would settle the idea of our being together, or at least knowing each other--forever. I am glad now that I am not stuck with this man, and my advice (I have two children of my own) is to assume, for now, he will be a better father than he has been a husband and hopefully you can pluck the best parts of him and give them to your child.

Do not make any drastic actions about telling the wife, but be clear that your baby's half-siblings need to know about him, as well as his paternal grandparents, and you will ensure that your baby gets the benefit of knowing his family. So the sooner he tells his wife, the better. I know it is hard for him too. He is caught in a rough situation as well, but it's time for everyone to step up and think of the baby and not their own selfish desires.

Two kids don't mean no one will ever love you or that it will be hard to find a new man. I have two and find that when a love is true and healthy, they wrap their love for you around your children and it works, not without problems, but it works. (Unfortunately that lesson was LONG in coming!)

I wish you the best!