How much you tolerate is entirely up to you. When you feel you've reached a breaking point - that's about when you may want to speak up.

Of course, regardless of the other womans attitude, you should remain calm and explain to her (in person, not online or cell phone texting) that you're at a loss. You've done nothing to her and yet, she's got something against you.

Perhaps you can suggest to your guy that he sticks to what the other woman asked him to do. Contact only in "X" situation.

So, if she texts him and it's about you - he shouldn't respond because that's contact that she didn't want in the first place.

Or he could remind her that she didn't want HIM to contact HER, except for certain situations. Maybe he could also ask her to do the same thing?

I'm sorry if this wasn't overly helpful, but I hope it was. You're not alone out there.