It is never easy having to deal with the feelings of losing someone you love.

When my wife died I had a firearm to my head multiple times just trying to find some reason not to pull the trigger. It turned out that she was that reason. She was gone but my memory and my wish to honor her were not.

After that I fell very deeply into depression and it took a long time for me to seek help. I did and it still took a long time to reach meaningful improvements. You have to let them help you and stick with it for it to help you.

I can tell you I know what it is like to feel as though you have lost it all, that your entire life is gone. The truth is that you life isn't gone, it is worth living, and living well.

It sounds like he is still wanting to be your friend, do you really wish to give that up because your embarrassed?

How do you know that he might not end up changing his mind down the road? You aren't even giving him the option. I know a couple that were friends for 10 years before they figured out that they loved each other, they have been married for over 20 now.

If nothing else you should realize that you still have that same great friend that you had before. That hasn't changed, you just need to see that it is there.