I remember when I first started having flashbacks. it was back in the 1980's and I had a nightly nightmare that I couldnt remember after I woke up. I was seeing a county mental health therapist who was more interested in medicating me. I was attending community college and during my sociology class we had two guest speakers from the next towns Rape crisis Center. They were in the process of opening a branch of the crisis center at the domestic violence office. I slipped one of the crisis center speakers a note saying I had the nightmare and asked if their agency could help. She discretely nodded and I met with her. we ended up talking in her truck because the domestic violence was so full of people trying to get organized. anyway after our talk we went inside and she introduced me to a woman I'll call Joan. Because I was seeing county mental health I had to sign the release forms so that "helen" and Joan could talk together. Joan had me start journalling at night and bringing it to her. She would read it and ask questions. Slowly I started remembering the nightmare. One day I was getting ready for work and the next thing I knew I was in the shower with my arm cut. I went to joan and because I couldn't explain the what hows and so on Helen hospitalized me (That was the end of Helen. On the case came Ann) long story short one day after I had been hospitalized twice I couldn't take it any more. I left work with a very quick "got to go to see Joan bye" to my boss. I barged in to Joans office and said "it's happening now" I held on as long as I could trying to answer her questions then the next thing I know she was laughing so much so she had tears coming down. I got a bit mad because I thought she was laughing at me. She was laughing at herself for not realizing what was going of for the past 6 months to a year. She looked at me and said "you're not suicidal you're having flashbacks" then she told me that flasbacks were memories of things that have actually happened and its the brains natural way of processing tramatic experiences.I don't need meds and hospitals for this. To fix this we just needed to reach the end of this nightmare and basically put my brain on overload, desensitize me by talking, drawing, writing and and what ever other ways we can come up with so that my brain gets used to the content of the nightmares/flashbacks that I no longer am afraid and react on them. I started carrying my notebook and pen. anytime a flashback hit I went into the nearest bathroom and wrote everything I was seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling and so on. At first they didn't make any sense but as time went on the pieces started falling in to place. I reached that nightmares end and the flashbacks came as whole pictures complete with sound, smells and so on. and then as time went on they started fading to where I no longer have flashbacks for that situation/nightmare anymore. I have gone through many flashback cycles and Joan's way has pulled me through to the other side each and every time. Each cycle more graphic and painful than the one before which I am told is normal the brain gives only what the person is ready for so it is kind of like start out easy get harder until there is no more kind of thing. So I have expanded on Joan's routine in that I now carry my walkman with a tape specifically for when I have flashbacks with relaxation type music and also songs like crystal gayles "let your feellings show, keeping power, ready for the times to get better. I also take lots of baths, walk and bike, squishing playdough and focusing on how that feels also helps.

Hang in there this cycle will end as soon as you know everything your brain is trying to tell you.