...that could be taken as positive or helpful right now. All I want to do is to drink myself into a coma, drug myself until I black out and if that doesnt work to just cut and cut, hoping that it can lead somewhere where I can have some peace. It hurts too much to live. I have one person left and Im trying my best to make them hate me so I can have a reason to put an end to the memories. This is not a statement of intent, its just the way Im feeling. Please dont take it the wrong way, Im sorry if Ive upset anyone.