Hi Steve and welcome.

From the little bit you've shared, it sounds like your anxiety might stem from unresolved childhood grief?

I too lost a parent at a very young age, which has caused me lots of problems over the years. I understand the fear.

I basically put my grief on hold to comfort my surviving parent and was told by my stern grandmother to "be strong" for my mother and not let her see me cry. "Stand up straight" was her way of saying suck it up.

Not being allowed to grieve properly as a child, I quietly cried in my pillow at night so I wouldn't be heard and upset anyone.

Unresolved childhood grief due to the loss of a parent will have adults trying to fill a deep void in their lives, mostly in unhealthy ways. It also leads to a host of issues such as depression, anxiety, etc.

It sounds like what may be happening is when your wife goes out, the fear of her not coming back (like your parent not coming home) must intensify and bring out your unresolved issues of that loss.

Working with a T on this might just change your life.

Good luck,

Petunia