I now do IT work, but I used to work in a bowling pro shop. Once I dropped a bowling ball on foot and decided to get steel toe. So my brother (Staff Sargent) gave me a pair of steel toe combat boots. I hate to change things, but eventually I got used to them. After about three years of wearing them everyday they wore out. Seeing how I hate change I got a new pair and have had these about three years now. After six years of wearing combat boots I've gotten to the point I can put them on in one minutes for both boots. Yesterday It took about 15.

This last few weeks haven't been perfect, but they have been better than in a long time. I was actually starting to smile. No where near manic but definitely picked up. Monday and Tuesday I was starting fights with my wife. I've noticed that her reactions are always a direct result of my actions. 24 hours after fighting if I don't yell anymore she has forgotten that the fight even took place.

Now I'm going down, doesn't feel like a full depression yet (hopefully it won't get there), but I feel like I'm going to have to fake it for everyone until this is over. Working today is not easy, getting going is not easy. I just want to sleep. Climb under my computer desk with a pillow and a soft blanket and just sleep, why am I so tired.