(((((((((((Hope4me2))))))))))))))
I got really scared for you when I read your post. Man, oh man. I can't help but to want to reach into your computer screen and give you a great big fat hug. One, for still being alive and not hitting that artery and Two, for the pain you're going through.
There are a lot more reasons, too.
Did the hospitalization help you out at all?
I hope so much you can get through this awfulness that's making you feel so bad. I'm praying that God gives you the strength to overcome what it is you're battling.
I'll be thinking of you.
I have to give you more hugs. It just feels right...
((((((((((Hope4me2)))))))))))))