I did it, cleaned the bathroom and then hoovered downstairs too. I feel quite good about that.

I realised though, when speaking to someone on the phone that actually the crisis team, my gp, whoever, cannot really do anything right now. I feel low and I hate feeling like this, but there is nothing anyone can actually do to change that. I would have liked them to just listen to me, but that is not really what they are there for. I need to look in more appropriate places I guess. Friends are out of the question, I don't really have any. I guess I need to turn to my family and helplines if there is something that I want to talk about, but otherwise I need to make the effort to keep going and just cope with the feelings. No one can take away the feelings, as much as I'd like them to.

So I need to just get on with my life, stop asking for help when nothing can be done. If I have nothing to say then there is nothing anyone can respond with.