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Originally Posted by Perna
I didn't get a sense of fear of intimacy from reading your post but more of a habit sort of thing. You allowed yourself to get use to masturbation rather than interaction with another person; it's kind of like what happens if we fantasize too much during sex, we're lest "present" and that can get in the way of a relationship with a particular person.
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*nods nods* Perhaps, though I may have overstated by inference the amoutn of masturbation that I do. Perhaps once a week, though I could certainly stop that in the interest of improving my sexual desire.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I would share your "preference" with your love and see if she isn't willing to help you change the behavior, if you and she both want that? I think if you do a lot of touching/cuddling/tantalizing with promises of more afterwards, might help you think differently/that the act is "worth it"?
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You've said something in here that I think might be helpful, though I'm not sure if you meant it that way...regardless, thank you. I LOVE touching/cuddling/tantalizing... though I don't love the act of sex itself. Touching/cuddling/kissing etc. leads me to want more touching/cuddling/kissing not sex. BUT! <-- big but...
Your use of the phrase 'promises of more afterwards' got me thinking. If we did the whole touching/cuddling/kissing thing (I love making out and substituted kissing for tantalizing cause I couldn't bear the thought of no kisses from my honey
) and then stopped, went out to eat dinner or watched a movie or whatever... I could totally see that desire for more touching/cuddling/kissing becoming enflamed until it could only be doused with sex. Once I start cuddling/kissing/touching...I never want to stop - sex makes it stop...yes, yes, I know it doesn't really stop during sex but it's a distraction. I'm not saying this well... When she kisses me, the feel of her lips on mine, the emotions that are let loose, the connection that I feel...are pretty overwhelming. I can't absorb all of that if sex is happening too - it's like too much is going on. Does that make sense?
Anyway, but if we were doing the whole kissing/cuddling/touching thing and stopped... and I was left unsatiated, I could totally see my sexual desire rising and almost going nuts until I had more of her. ~hopeful look~