My name is Loren and im 20 years old. I have been with my girlfriend Morgan for about 2 years now. Within the last month everything has changed. At the beginning of the relationship i did something very terrible to her, and it has always stuck with her and she has had trouble getting past it. This all has to do with how everything has changed, her feelings mainly. We moved into our apartment together last June. Once we did i started neglecting her for some reason. I started playing my video games more often then i used to and stopped hanging out with her and her friends. As a result of this, it pushed her away from me. She has been feeling this for a long time and kept it to herself because she thought that the feelings would pass. They didn't so she brought it up with me. And after she brought everything i lost my confidence. My confidence in how she feels about me, that im the only one she wants. So i started accusing her of cheating on me, i tried controlling her and became very possessive . And that just pushed her even further away from me. We have been taking a break for the last couple days now and Ive had a very hard time dealing with this. I have been drinking a lot and the other night i grabbed a bottle of pills that i still had and i started popping the pills and drinking more. After awhile i had a moment and realized what i was doing and threw the pills away and stopped drinking. But the thoughts i have been having and actually taking the action to start to kill myself scares me. I currently don't have the resources to go see a therapist right now but i need to talk about what is going on with my life and my feelings. Sorry this is just a very jumbled paragraph of my thoughts. Any advice or anything anyone has would be very helpful. Thanks