I was feeling a little weird. My wife called me at work because she wanted to hear my voice. I was feeling pretty good. I came home, not smiling, but not feeling like I have been. Then I get home, and started to feel trapped. I just saw the windows closed and the curtains draw the lights were off, but my wife was in a good mood playing on the computer. She asked me to kiss her and hold her. I was feeling trapped and didn't want to be held. I started yelling, about not having enough space. That is the exact opposite of what I really want. I want to be close to her. I want to hold her just not then. I went in the other room, and she started crying,
"I didn't do anything!"
"I know!"
"Then why are you upset?"
"I don't know."
"What?"
"You didn't do anything and I'm yelling and I can't understand it."

Today was just one example. After a couple of hours she forgave me. She didn't need to. There is not enough remorse in the world or the next to clear my sins. I'm so sorry, and I couldn't stop. I was yelling and it wasn't me. That is not how I am. Now sadder then before. God please help me maintain.