I've been in recovery from CSA for over a decade. I still have the worst time going to sleep. I stay up as long as I can until I collapse from exhaustion. I don't think I've ever really understood why. I have said to myself over and over that I was not abused at night, only during the day, so what is the problem? For reasons I simply do not understand, it has taken until tonight to be able to identify what keeps me awake. I am simply afraid.

mtd