You aren't stupid at all trinitydancer. You sounded scared.

Sometimes when I am scared I hug a big stuffed animal called 'Sebastian'. I stroke him and hug him and it helps to relax me. If you have a calm animal you could pat/stroke them.

If you need to and are able to you maybe could let yourself cry as that sometimes releases the pressure that you feel inside.

Having a warm shower will also relax muscles.....

Warm milk is good for serotonin levels. Journal is also a very good idea as anderson mentioned.

I wish for you peace.