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May 01, 2010, 08:25 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Posts: 265
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I never really knew what I was looking for with everything that has happened before this week. I guess I was seeking for some proof of everything that happened, proof that it was real, proof that I haven't made it all up.
I was chatting with my proffesor and she said "your trying to validate yourself with all the wrong people." I knew exactly what she meant by that. When ever I speak to the mother about what went/goes on she says it never happened, I made it all up, I'm just crazy. She got me to the point where I actually started believing her. That's what my professor meant. She doesn't validate me because she can't stand to believe it, it would mean that her ex and her and her son are all guilty. Guilty of things beyond belief but it doesn't stop there. It travels more into his friends, her friends, and her friends foster child and her boy friend. For me it wasn't just one or two people but a community of mollesters and I was the weakest link, easy pray for them.
My proffesor continued to say that the only one who could validate me was me. She stated that she could validate me all day but until I believed it in myself it wouldn't be doing any good. I'm the one that has to believe it in myself.
I just don't know how to do it. I want validation, no I NEED validation. I struggle with validation in everything it seemed like. I struggled with th DID dignosises until I saw a video when I was 4 and demanded that I wasn't "insert name here" but my name was Sky, cause "insert name here" was crying inside. That was enough validation for me.
Anyone has any suggestions that might help me out? How did you find your validation?
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