(((living miracle)))-it is a very difficult thing to get through; but not impossible. Wepow has said much of what i went through in the validation area at one time. The man who was my "father" was really only a biological father to myself and my brothers. He was an ill man who did not know what the repercussions of what he did would be to myself or to my older brothers.

I have come to realize that he was incapable of "loving" anyone at all--what he did, therefore should be seen as a part of his acting out his psychosis on all of us--tha t the abuse of me as a wee babe was a horror; but also the abuse my brothers, who are 8 and 11 years older than i was just as bad.....Hard to validate because it is all too shocking and "unnatural" to be set right out there in the open for allof us to see and understand; my brothers deny it to this day; indeed they have ne'er acted like big brothers to me at all for they blame me for it all. My mom divorced my "father" when i was two---i know why, she knew it too, it is enough that God and I know the truth of the matter now. I have acknowledged it and validated it and now i seek to break the pattern of allowing others to abuse me in relationships.

Getting on in years now, so it is a difficult reality for me. I am still hypervigilent, hypersensitive, but i consider these to be attributes now.

I wish you a safe and healing journey----theo