hi, living miracle,

i had a therapist describe me as a "living miracle" once. it sounds to me like you are on the right path. for sure, it is not an easy one but if you take solace in the rewards then the difficulty will feel worth the trip. validation means believing in and loving yourself. it means loving your bad and good qualities. the things you want to change - you have to love those too so that your self acceptance is unconditional. that acceptance will help you relax a lot. yes, the problems will still be there but it's a lot easier to accept and deal with them from a relaxed mind. the benefits of having a relaxed mind are immeasurable.

i am sorry your family is not there to help you. coming from a dysfunctional family myself, i know that is a big let down. i'm not so sure it's something you should personalize though because whatever happened - you were so little at the time - none of them are able to deal with it. don't let it make you feel guilty. i know there are family issues that i will not discuss with my youngest brother. it's like, why am i still protecting him even though he is now an adult? whatever your siblings issues are, those issues are theirs - try not to make them yours too. I am so sorry they cannot be there to help you. over there years i have made friends from group therapy and other places that are better than my family. maybe you could try experimenting with that route?