Quote:
Originally Posted by Fakesky
Ive waited my whole life to be with him.......he is here with me..... and Im so alone. Im scared to death that he is just alive and not living. Im scared that im not doing the right thing to make him happy. I want him to WANT to spend time with me but he seems more content to be alone. His PTSD is treated through medication. He is never mean or violent..... He just wants to be in his own little bubble it seems...... and I miss him.
All I want is a few answers..... What do I need to do to keep him from feeling stressed? Is there a certain amount of distance I should expect? Does this behavior mean he doesnt love me? How can I even tell if he is really happy? How do i get to a point where his distance doesnt hurt and leave me feeling alone? I adore him. I'd rather die than give up on him and i refuse to lose him. I just need a little help....... 
|
Fakesky,
It's been awhile since you posted and I hope you have gotten some help...
You didn't mention how long this situation has been going on so my sharing may not be relevant, but I'd like to share anyway.
Jme/Jmo, but a combination of TBI/PTSD has unique challenges.
Since he is under the care of physicians re meds and other conditions...speak with them about
available resources for you.
It will help you understand his moods but also what you need to do for yourself.
You cannot really keep him from feeling stressed...most of it has to be worked through by him.
He is dealing with a great deal of loss aside from the PTSD. Grieving takes many forms and there is no time limit on it. A TBI may have robbed him of much of his independence along with physical pain-as you mentioned, so I am assuming there is more whole body pain.
Pain medications by themselves may cause withdrawing from those around them...
You are providing a loving and respectful environment for him to get through each day. That alone can be a huge comfort for him.
His behavior may mean a lot of things but it is not because he has stopped loving you...he is still with you, right? Many others in his situation have left their families...from feelings of frustration, shame, unresolved anger, and other issues.
You've said you are in for the long haul...and it may get worse before it gets better.
Taking care of yourself has to be a priority also. His needs are important but so are yours...get in touch with any family services available to you.
Once you know what you need to do for *you* then many of your questions are going to be answered...honestly? You need as much support as he does, just in a different way.
Take advantage of everything that is going to help you.
My best wishes in walking through this stage of recovery...his and yours.
In Peace