Hi Paraclete,

Although I have always had depression, I didn't begin to experience the most serious depressive episode until the exact time that I met someone and got into a relationship. Maybe it was a coincidence, but more likely it triggered a lot of very old emotional problems for me. My partner was very patient (not that she didn't have a few things to work on, she did too). But I guess I want to make the very clear distinction that depression is depression. It cannot be fixed by the other person in the relationship. It needs to be addressed with therapy and medication and other therapies like group therapy and medical treatments. It is helpful to have someone there for you, a significant other to offer their love and support. But you cannot fix this. Your boyfriend's mental health care is up to him - and his therapist. It is ok to say something like, "You know I love and care for you, but this is overwhelming for me in that I can't fix it for you - as much as I wish I could. I will be here for you - but you need to seek out the professional help that you need."