Quote:
|
I can see now that that statement sounds controlling, it's only because of my fear
|
The need to control usually stems from fear. You can deal with your fears and then your kid wont suffer from over -control. And you can be more aware of ways by which to be less controlling. I think its important for your kids' health.
Quote:
|
I can see that being over-protective may make my son resent me when he becomes a teenager and he will probably push me away. So I can see how being over-protective can be a bad thing.
|
Its not only that. Control and over protection damages people. You are damaging his development and his sense of self and his sense of trust in others. If you want a healthy child who will grow to be a healthy adult, happy and striving - you must learn how to protect him when needed and provide a safe environment for him to explore, be with others and experiment his own needs and wants.
Quote:
|
it makes it more risky to write about the abuse, because it brings back the same feelings I felt then, and then when I see him I freak out. I panic and I get really angry.
|
Maybe stop all contact with him? would be possible? and certainly do not let him around your kid
Quote:
|
my father first hit my son when he was just starting to crawl (he wasn't very good at it). But my father hit him, because he was crawling toward the cat food. I automatically picked him up and took him away to my room. Then he hit him again when he was over after we came back from visitng my mother for getting into a drawer in the kitchen. He wasn't even walking then. I am afraid if when my father comes over he will hit him again. I don't believe we are in terrible danger now, at least when my father doesn't come over.
|
That is disturbing to read. Its awful. Please do everything you can so your dad is not a figure in your kid life and put necessary boundary so your dad wont be in contact with your kid. If anyone hit my children I will make sure they never see my kids again and think about taking legal action against them. Hitting a child - like I wrote to you on another thread - is an offence.
Quote:
|
"Shut up, your faking, oh come on, that's enough, you're pathetic" crap he says whenever he's around my son and he cries.
|
This is abuse. And such a damaging behaviour for your son. I am so sorry. Your father has serious issues. Its important you let your son cry and not feel bad/guildy/alone/scared.
Quote:
|
But I suppose in the back of my mind I'm afraid someone will come try to kidnap him again. Someone tried to almost a year ago. And I was afraid that this person would have come to take him from a daycare, that was my fear about daycares before. I suppose that's still possible, but I don't think it's as probable anymore.
|
Who tried to kidnap him and why? Did you ever discuss this with the autorities and a therapist?
I wish you keep yourself safe from unhealthy, damaged and damaging people and you will keep your son safe from them. You are responsible for him. Please be a good mother. I wish you peace of mind. xxx
.