Wanting to go back to school, afraid to take that first step, afraid to apply, afraid they won't accept me. I hate listening to co-workers and friends talk about school, because I'm supposed to be there, I'm supposed to be almost done now. So much of my self-esteem is tied up in academic accomplishments, and now I can't even say I'm in school. At the moment I'm a career pee-on, and i hate it, and i'm afraid to get stuck here.

I had to move back in with my mother. I'm in the exact same position I was a year ago. Financially strapped, recovering from more bad decisions. I feel like I just keep failing at this "adult" gig. She sat me down the other day, wanting to voice her concerns about me and my boyfriend whom she doesn't like, and started the conversation out by reminding me of my 2 biggest screw-ups in my life to date. Just kind of rubbing my nose in it. I should have known better than to make those mistakes. And now I'm paying for it by having to live with her again.
Even in just the one week that i've been back "home" I can feel myself slipping back down into that hopeless depressed hole I was in last year. I can't seem to get out of her house, and I can't seem to be happy living there.