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Originally Posted by siempre nada
How do you build confidence and the ability to love yourself?
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I say you had them to begin with and still do, but other stuff gets in the way for you. For instance:
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I end up antisocial and bitter because of my inability to communicate with others without looking like the loser/fool/creep that I feel that I am inside.
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I've found that the harder I try not to look like a loser, fool, or creep the more I end up acting like one. See if you can focus on whatever's up for you to say or do; say or do it the best way you know how; and let what you "look like" take care of itself.
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I always hear "you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself"
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For me it was more like "Don't show the doggie you're afraid or it'll come over and bite you." For Ray Charles it was, "Them that's got is them that gets -- and I ain't got nothin' yet." Advice best ignored, I call it.
Keep doing what it would be OK to love yourself for. Then do it some more. Isn't that exactly what you'd want to do if you
did love yourself?
Good luck, siempre!
