I'm in very early recovery, and I've had a lot of relapses, so I know it's natural for people to not completely trust me yet. And I know intellectually that people care about me and are only concerned. But I'm getting a little tired of the question "have you been drinking?"

I go to two aftercare groups a week at my treatment center, where at each check in we have to say if we've been absitinant since our last meeting. That's ok - everybody does it. Plus we're subject to random blood and urine screenings - so what's the use in lying.

I also with very mixed feelings go to the same hospital to take my antabuse under supervision. I do this because I have a bad track record of going off it when things get overwhelming and then I drink. I accepted my Dr's suggestion that I take it supervised because I know I don't trust myself to stay on it, and I really want / need to build up a period of sobriety. It's one of thse good things bad thing things that I like and resent at the same time, if that makes any sense.

Most of my friends in AA, if I say anything hasn't been going well, immediately ask me if I've been drinking. Yesterday my sponsor called me and asked how my day was going, and I said I hadn't had a great day as I'd slept most of it (another of my not great coping questions) immediate question - Did you pick up.

I think what really pushed me into the frustration was my best friend who I know cares about me, called me Fri night since she knew it was a tough day for me, and she admitted she was calling to check up on me to make sure I wasn't drinking.

I appreciate that everybody cares about me. And I get that I have to earn back their trust. It just feels kind of frustrating at times.

Anyone else go through this in early recovery & how did you cope?

--splitimage