Thanks for the responses - I agree with all of them, just having such a hard time with the whole situation. The manipulation and emotional abuse was so extreme, (not being allowed to sleep at night, being accused of saying things I never did, not saying things I know I did, he would hide various things of mine and I would mysteriously find them a few months later in very obvious places like the kitchen sink window - I do dishes daily. I even used to get threatening/harrasing phone calls at all hours of the day and night when he was not home telling me the caller knew where my husband was and with who and that they knew I was home alone..the last time I got a call I was able to figure out that it came from his place of employement. When I told him about it I never got another call - who would think their husband was behind something like that!! What kind of husband would do something like that? ) that I have become 100% dependent upon him - which is really pathetic and discouraging bc I am a VP in a large international corporation. My career was the only place he did not have much influence except for my self esteem.

Prior to my marriage to him, I had bought a home for my children and I, went to college (double major) full time, worked full time and raised my sons on my own (their dad was too far away) all simultaneously - so I was pretty self sufficient and independent. I am in counseling, and just need to try and get some of the old me back!!! One bright spot, my children have all said, I did manage to shield them from all the abuse (took it myself when he wanted to "attack" someone), so for that I am grateful!!!

My pastor was right when he said, my husband would not change, he would just find victim #5 and it looks like he has succeeded!!!

Thanks again for the confirmation of what I need to do/accept!!!