Lisa,

I think we should never blame ourselves for being caught out by a manipulative person. No one expects it. You have nothing to blame yourself for. If you're straight with other people, you have no responsibility for the way they behave.

What we have to do is learn to recognise the danger signs and protect ourselves, which was the idea behind my original post. We can't read other people's minds, but we can recognise certian patterns of behaviour.

Good thoughts, M