hi roseleigh, i can relate to your feelings.

i know the struggle is so hard sometimes. i try to keep the mantra "it will be ok" going in my head. eventually it will be ok. i definitely think that SI can be the lesser evil sometimes, but it's so hard. sometimes i don't think clearly and i don't see the other options. sometimes there are other things that help us feel better.

it is frustrating. i wish we didn't have to hurt. it's such a hard struggle.

i hope you're hanging in there. take care!