(((grizmom)))--(((perpetuallysad)))--we are so very sensitive here--i know the Byzantine meant to say that you shouldn't compare youself with others--you are unique--you don't have to be like those you see-your cousins etc.. You don't have to keep up to the others---he meant (i think) to reassure you that you do not have to "keep up with the Jones". to go easy on yourself---i believe he meant it kindly- and not to upset you. You took it your way; as you are very vulnerable to any sort of criticism rightnow....and it sounded like criticism to your sensitive ears and spirit--
i can see how it might do that.

When first i came to this forum, i wrote my five posts and onlyThe Byzantine paid any attention to them. He is often cryptic in his comments, and replies- but he always means to be kind and helpful--i felt like you at first--that he was criticising me, and
felt like backing off--but, after thinking on it, i learned to be objective, and see his view of me--it was helpful in the end-very much so-----(((grizzmom)))-theo

Postscript: if you chek out the sites hegave you--they are all about CBT---and the negative distortions we make of things that are not negative at all---CBT has helped meBIG TIME!!!