Moosetracks, I'm glad you are seeking out help when you need it and meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow. Having your T dump you like that after so many years sounds very painful. I wonder if it would help you find closure if you knew more about why he did it? I think it's too early to attempt that, but maybe in the future. And perhaps you wouldn't find that helpful at all. I hope your pdoc can give you some good advice, and be a clear thinker on this for you. When I am hurting so much, I make really bad decisions, so I always try to just pull back and tell myself, "you don't need to do anything now."