I met a lovely man. We have so much in common and intellectually and emotionally we would both agree we were soulmates. But, physically there were problems. There were stupid things which it was impossible for me to talk to him about: I don't like the smell of his beard, which puts me off kissing him (I've already had to comment on another similar issue which was embarassing and which I only dared to comment on because I wanted the relationship to last.) There are other things that it may have been possible to deal with but which are embarassing. The relationship got a bit oppressive at times too as he needs a lot of attention.

After much thought I realised I could not get over the beard thing as it was such a turn off and it's so fundamental to a physical relationship. I wondered whether to say something or whether this is a basical physical attraction problem at the pheremones level. I feel it must be. What point is there in me upsetting him by telling him about these very personal matters if, at the end of the day, he tries to deal with them and I find I still can't cope with his natural scent? I cannot see a way round this and it seemed pointless trying to deal with other issues (sexually we were still learning about each other so we were both a bit incompetent) if the problem was fundamental like a person's natural smell.

So I had to call it off and did so. This is such a loss for me because I was beginning to feel he was the man for me if it wasn't for these physical issues. Obviously I haven't given him all this detail but have said it was a lack of chemistry. He has reacted very badly and (althought I know he can't help himself) he is making me feel guilty. On top of this, practically on the same day, some awful family event befell him (he hasn't said what as it's too painful for him) but I think it's a tragedy. I should be there for him and have offered but he can barely talk to me. I feel terrible. It seems the only thing I can do is to give up, but my heart hurts and I feel anxiety and terrible sadness at the way things have gone. I have lost someone who means a great deal to me, but do I have any other choice? I really never wanted to hurt him like this. It all seems so sad and awful.

Please comment if you can, I desperately need insights.