TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER

talk of suicide (safe now!)




My therapist blocked me without any explanation, after I saw her for a year.

She said she treated bpd's, so I was able to open up to her.

but I am pretty sure I made her uncomfortable.

As a bpd, I have had numerous experiences of ppl being uncomfortable with me and not having the nerve or the patience or the words to tell me, so they avoid me. Good, gentle-hearted ppl, too and I never feel worthy of them anyway.

Now if a therapist can't deal with me or even tell me, I really feel like my abandonment issues are put to the test.

I am safe now and still alive, but the other night I was in pretty bad shape. i felt like no one could ever deal with me. I wanted to die.

My self-preservation and my friend Ani (who found me sobbing on the beach that night) save my life that night.

You can read about the details of what happened to me in "Psychotherapy", if you want.

I recommend that only other bpd's read/reply to this thread.

ty,

Billi