Billi

I know what you mean, been there many times, rejection as it appears to me really hurts. Here is a little something a friend of mine believes in and it is helping me at the moment.......

Great things come to those who know what they want and have the patience to understand that the world might not be ready just yet!
Stop searching for peace and happiness, it's already there, inside of you, just waiting for you to discover it anew!

Keep on believing in yourself Billi, I know how overwhelming and lonely this illness gets, it really does for me, and sometimes it just seems that nobody experiences the mental anguish and torture that I am going through.

But with each day it gets better, it really does. I have been able to let go recently of the negative emotions, not by battling it out, but just letting them go and moving on to something more stable and positive.

Maybe it is just that your relationship with this therapist has run its course and you need to look else where. If this is the end result of a years work, it reflects just as much on the therapist as it does on you. Your relationship with your T, while important and necessary, is not the reason to keep living. It is my relationship with myself that is the most important and I have found through good therapy that it is my own personal self image of myself that needs to be healed first.

My last therapy session my T, at the end of the session said, you are quite stable now, you are so much less borderline than you were a year ago. So I guess it does get better over time.

Keep posting here, that is important, and seek out quiet time for yourself and stop beating yourself up over things. You have as much right to be around and about as anyone else.

Take good care and keep safe

Paddy