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Originally Posted by jazzy123456
...it was soo heavy, physically hurt... and for hours it felt like my heart was just gonna fall out onto the floor.
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jazzy,
I know exactly how you are feeling here. That pain, deep down in your chest. I'm glad you took something that helped with that a bit. Do you take antidepressants? Or have you tried them? I decided to go back on a certain brand of St. John's Wort for now (Kira). It's not for everyone, but it works for me. It doesn't make everything go away, but it cuts down on those truly physical symptoms (like antidepressants do for most).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzy123456
Currently, I'm fighting the urge to feel excessive guilt over my lack of discipline and I have the urge to just beat myself up and put myself down for what I haven't accomplished due to the depression.
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I can completely relate. Depression is sooo deceiving this way. I know I wouldn't tell someone who had cancer to simply "pick it up and get going and- I don't care if you just had a chemo treatment - stop being so lazy." As a matter of fact I wouldn't tell someone else with depression that (by any means!) So why do I feel it necessary to berate myself? Today I looked at 30 jobs online. Usually this seems like a good idea at the time, but then I spend the rest of the day crying in bed. Today, somehow, I have just let it go. There just wasn't anything - and true, some I just wasn't qualified for. But somehow I just said, "okay, not right now. This isn't my fault." So maybe therapy is helping.
We need to be gentle with ourselves. Handle yourself with care. Do the things you enjoy and try to let go. In caring for yourself now, it will all come back to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzy123456
May God Bless those who feel these same burdens and pain...
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God Bless You!
