I think it's hard to think clearly when we feel we don't have options. If you can stay with Steve for longer, I would suggest doing your best to work on the relationship, just in case you can salvage it (go to marriage counseling) and most importantly, work on making changes in your life to become more financially independent. Examine your options for jobs and become employed, bring in a paycheck, perhaps you will have your own insurance at your job. This independence will be a confidence booster to you and make things a lot easier if you do decide to separate. It sounds like you won't be able to do a job involving your hands, but see if you can find other options. Perhaps a job talking with people on the phone, where you can use a headset and don't have to do a lot of typing on the computer. I don't know--just throwing that out as an idea. It could be that the first job you find will not involve Art, but that will be OK for now in exchange for getting on your financial feet.

You've told Steve to get a lawyer for himself. Does that mean you already have your own lawyer? What is your lawyer advising you?

I'm really glad you now have a therapist to help you with this enormous stress and these hard decisions. Perhaps your therapist can be a good source of ideas and advice on how to find a job, become financially independent, etc. Teaching art classes sounds like a good possibility. Or perhaps you could teach art at a local community center, or in a senior center. Take it slow with decisions right now and use your therapist to become empowered. I have a therapist, and there are times we have worked on emotional issues and there are times we have worked on very practical, nuts and bolts issues, like finances and education. Getting your bipolar under control sound essential for getting a job and being independent, and just plain functioning. I hope your efforts there are helping and that you are feeling more stable soon.

Before I got divorced, I took quite a bit of time getting ready for it, because I just couldn't handle it without making financial and emotional preparations. When I first went to my lawyer, she encouraged me to go slowly, but to work very seriously on "getting my ducks in a row."

Even if you do have the tools, do not leave the home. This will hurt you in the divorce. Stay put and let him leave, if you have to separate right now. At least get the advice of your lawyer before leaving. (If you are being abused, are in danger, and need to escape, then of course you should leave--disregard what I just said. Find out where the women's shelters are in your community--your therapist can help with this.)

Best of luck.