JAZZY,

I UNDERSTAND FEELING SO MUCH DESPAIR. I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD BLAME YOURSELF. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT YOUR DEPRESSED, OR SUFFERING, OR NOT DOING THE THINGS YOU USUALLY DO OR ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. I MEAN I FEEL LIKE IF ALOT OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT DESPAIR THEY WOULDNT EVEN LAST HALF AS LONG AS YOU HAVE. I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF HOPE (THATS ALL YOU NEED) AND NOT BE DISCOURAGED. ITS REALLY HARD TO LIVE THIS WAY BUT ITS NOT IMPOSSIBLE. YOU SEEM LIKE A VERY STRONG PERSON AND I HOPE IF YOU FEEL THE NEED MAYBE SOMEONE ON PC CAN GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE OR KIND WORDS. NEVER GIVE UP