(((billi)))

I can understand your feelings of rejection and super low self-esteem. I would be hurt too. You were brave and hopeful by opening up such intimate thoughts and feelings to the T. I haven't read your link in Psychotherapy yet.

I hope that you simply mis-read your T's words or facial expression/s. I hope that it was just a big misunderstanding, and your T was sure to communicate more clearly with you. And that their words made you feel better. Safer. More hopeful again. I do hope for you!

That said, I have seen many, many different doctors and T's. Some were/are a perfect fit ~ others don't fit real well. Those who aren't a perfect fit can still be my doc, but my expectations and hopes drop considerably. Keeping a perfect fit with my main doc and T are absolutely necessary though. If you do not have a perfect fit with this T, please do look for another. Btw, you may want to mention it to you T, be open, and get them to refer you to a better fit!

Best wishes!