Quote:
Originally Posted by anderson
(((((Hunny))))
We all have had to make choices in the past as well as the futures. Just know no matter what we did the best we could with what we had to work with. Even when we sound off on our Golden cage the truth is if it had not been for that cage we probaly would have been hurt more then we had been.
The good guys made us take space because they thought we were just in recall. But the truth was is that people had came to enjoy the fact that they could hurt us and not fully remember what happen to us. The gross part is that some of them are tring to be friendly with us and are skin crawls when they are near us. But now we are able to speak up and tell others who we want near us and who we don't. No matter what each one of has done in the past it was to the best of her/our ability with what we had to work with.
From all of us to all of you
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(((( Anderson ))))
Thank you, I knew we could count on you to understand and bring some kind of sense to this splitting. I think it may be a long journey to ease her fears and her self abuse. Her best was good enough for me but she feels so responsible and icky about some of those choices and feels horrified at the external abuses, even rapes she had no idea were that at the time and having a spouse who was in a way an acquaintance to one of the original main abusers makes her be even more disgusted. I have no way of consoling her. It will probably come from somewhere but at this time she wants to dissolve or do her old (poor) coping mechanisms. They just never worked, we know that. Sorry to go on and on about these specifics.
But, yes, the baddies are kept at bay with this healing of traumas with the raising of boundaries and feelings and listening to our body reaction. Like the other day I was sitting in a coffee house and some guy asked us for a ride home, out of the blue! In the past people like him could read our vulnerability but this time I said: "No". Too bad he had heart condition this or that! It was a great feeling of power. I even went to the staff and told them how inappropriate that was for a stranger to ask another customer and a lone female at that for a ride home! Stupid, stupid.
I then told her (inside) how proud of her it was that we stood together (no matter how small an incident). So, yes, keeping the skincrawlers away is major! Geez who would have thought at this body's age!!! Darkness is waiting on the sidelines for its opportunity for sure. But I stand with my buddies here on PC against the dam creeps.
Please thank all of you for your inside kindness as I know you are waiting and even struggling to be free.
Hunny
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