Belinda,

We've been talking for a long time now, almost 5 months. One thing I've learned about you is you're a very loving and caring person. You've told me all of the bad and all of the good about Mark, and I've told you everything about my ex. I was surfing around the internet yesterday and came across this quote, I wanted to share it with you. It's by one of my favorite authors, Chuck Klosterman.

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

I think this applies to the both of us pertaining to our ex's. I know how much you love Mark, and I know that other people on this forum look at him in an extremely negative light. People do make mistakes though Belle, and it sounds like he's suffering a lot from what he's told you. If he truely wants to get things back to the way they were with you, and you feel the same way, I think you should give it a go. You can live your entire life wondering "what if I gave him a second chance". Or you can take him back and it can end one of two ways.

1. You get back together and a few months down the line he screws up again. You feel like an idiot for a little while for believing him and probably put up with the same depression you have been dealing with lately. But I don't think this time you would be as crushed, more disappointed in him than questioning yourself. Some people would get to say I told you so, but you would get over it once again eventually and at least know 100% that it wasn't meant to be.

2. At first, you have a hard time letting him back into your heart, but after a while your old relationship picks up nearly where it left off. You fall back in love and soon you're doing all of the old things you used to do together. He'll probably apologize daily for being such an idiot. Eventually, you two will settle down and you will have the life you've been planning for the past few years. Have a family, grow old, be happy.

Those are really the only two possibilities of you two getting back together. As far as I see it you've got a 50/50 chance of what you were hoping for all along. You know how I feel about Mark, you know I'm not really a fan of his actions and how he made you feel. But, this isn't about my feelings, or anyone elses for that matter, only yours. If Mark is that person, the definition of love in your life and you want to give him another chance, I don't see how anyone can blame you for that. Too often we get caught up in our own pride and forget that we were given the ability to forgive. People make mistakes, and I know if I was in Mark's shoes right now I would be going crazy. I'd be stricken with guilt, confused, and feeling pretty hopeless. I guess on some level, I feel a little bad for the guy.

Anyway, I guess all I'm saying is trust your heart. If you still love him, and you still feel the same way you felt, give it another shot. You're a smart person, and I trust your judgement whatever you decide. And just know I'm here for you regardless of your choice, or your situation in life. You deserve to be happy, and if you believe this will bring it to you then go for it.

Good luck whatever way it goes.

Bryan