There's no amount of money that could ever make up for your wife losing her husband and your kids losing their dad. I think that's just very low self esteem talking, thinking it might even be better for them to have money than have you. You're definitely wrong. I don't there is any amount of money in this world which would make you dying the better option for your family, please put that thought out of your mind. They wouldn't want that. They want you!

Thanks for posting the picture of your son - what a gorgeous little boy, you're very lucky. It was nice to hear about his bath, too, trying to say bubbles lol. I know you don't want to miss out on all the thousands of little moments like that with your son and new baby.

I think you're doing great with trying to help yourself. You've been going to that support group (and to stay when you even got the wrong day, that's great!) and started on medication, I hope it kicks in soon. Has your therapy sessions started yet?

You're doing all the right things, just remember that it takes time. You know you want to be better for YOU and your family, to live a happier life... it just takes time and effort but you have that. Keep holding on, it might be slow but you're headed in the right direction. x