I don't know how old you are, you may still be at home and that makes it really difficult to avoid your mom's triggering you. But I learned over the years that I have the right to tell anybody, even family, to leave me alone! if they trigger me, which they do. They never "got it" and it took a while to make them, even if they didn't try to understand that their words hurt, leave me alone. When you are on your own, it will be easier.

But as far as the abuse, it's YOUR life, I'd hate to see you try and protect the "abuser" (your mom). Anyway, good luck and take care of YOU.