The only person you have let down is yourself Bama. We will be tempted all the way through our life and this was just another one of those times. I know it must be terrible having been put into that situation but you need to look at it is YOR life we are talking about here. Call your sponsor, pick up th NA book, get out of there and go for a walk. Just look at today and not the 10 months and not that you have let other people down. You have let yourself down maybe. Do not set your expectations to high for yourself that you cannot reach them. Make your goals so that you can obtain them. Make them small at first and then when you reach them you can look back and say, "hey, I reached that goal." That will give you more power and more incentive to keep on working harder on staying clean. Contact me ANYTIME you need to if you run into troubles and need some help, OK. Be good to yourself. Relapse is part of recovery. We learn each time we relapse what not to do and what more we can do to stay clean and sober.

((((((((((Bama))))))))

Allan